“You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine.” Psalm 4:7 (NLT)
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12 (NIV)
Finding joy in the midst of trials, regardless of my circumstance… one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn. It’s right up there with patience and self-control. Everyday emotional joy comes from a cup of coffee, a good night’s sleep, good community and fellowship with friends I love, new hobbies, time to read a book, an enjoyable day spent on campus with my girls, a new sweater or pair of jeans, a clean house… however, I have been learning that when that surfaced emotional joy leaves (every now and then it does), what am I left with? Absolutely nothing. I’d want to sleep all day and never leave my bed, eat comfort food and brownies all day and night, waste my time and be completely drained that I wouldn’t even be able to fake a smile. Okay, maybe not to that extent… but you get the idea.
I couldn’t ask for a more understanding and patient group of friends, family and boyfriend. They are so loving and supportive of me. I am blessed to have them! I have a very rewarding job, great roommates, and I am blessed beyond measure for having a church family who loves me and where I can be involved in any desired capacity. I cannot look at my life without seeing how GOOD God has been to me and how loving He is.
This fall so far has had it’s challenges. I have found it really hard to engage myself in the things and people I love and it has caused a strange tension within my heart. What all of this boils down to is my source of Joy. I recognize the work of God in my life, in my relationships, and I can feel His leading and guidance. He is a God who is ALL faithful, so I have rarely doubted His goodness and presence. However, I have noticed that it is to others things where I have been searching for joy… all of my broken cisterns that I continue to run to. Campus, work, busy schedule, relationships, my new found love and obsession with Pinterest. None of these things have been satisfying the deepest part of my soul. If I confess with my mouth that the Lord is good and don’t believe it in my heart, there is a huge piece of the puzzle missing.
